Transfer announcements are not what they used to be.
As clubs’ social media accounts get increasingly creative, traditional press releases are shunned in favour of dramatic unveiling videos, often waiting until the last second to reveal the identity of the man their fans have been waiting for with baited breath.
Highlights of the genre include the Aston Villa Whatsapp group to announce John Terry, Jesus Navas – inexplicably – being ‘kidnapped’ by Sevilla, and Ricardo Quaresma’s simple yet effective ‘Come to Besiktas’ that seemingly proved so irresistible for Pepe and Alvaro Negredo.
Southampton went one step further, going through the looking glass and producing a parody video to announce a new one-year contract for veteran reserve keeper Stuart Taylor, who has not appeared on a professional football pitch since 2015.
New Chesterfield boss Martin Allen, however, has his own unique take.
Wrestling control from the social media chiefs, Allen brings a fresh, personal touch of minimalism to his announcements, posted on the club’s website.
His posts, all of which begin ‘Good morning/afternoon/evening…’ and end ‘Take care. Martin.’, began on May 22 with the unveiling of three new signings.
Centre-back Michael Nelson was welcomed to the Proact Stadium with the following statement:
Allen, who began his 13th managerial job at recently-relegated Chesterfield on May 15, is no stranger to a little eccentricity, wearing his ‘Mad Dog’ nickname with pride.
Never one to mince words, Allen once described his own Brentford side as a ‘two-bob team’, and beat the likes of Andrew Strauss and Jose Mourinho to the BBC Radio London Sports Personality of the Year award in 2005 for his candid approach to management.
Allen’s impressively lukewarm sincerity continued two days later.
It marks a somewhat unprecedented move, with managers usually restricted to a generic quote buried at the end of the announcement.
And his carefully-penned statements are not reserved solely for player signings.
Confirming the arrival of new physio Liam Booth, Allen said:
The 52-year-old, explaining the announcements to BBC Newsbeat, said: “I always write my own stuff, to be fair.
“It’s just my own mind, and my own way of communicating with the supporters.
“You might as well just tell ‘em straight, when they signed, who they are, a little bit about them.
“What could I write? Best wishes? Kind regards? I think the best way for me to relay to our supporters is – take care.
“I can’t think of a better way to sign off a nice little note.”